[灌水] 幽默美容

青春韶华

<p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #660099; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US">　</span></span></b><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">本来这篇文字想叫《开心一刻》、《幽一默》、《笑不笑由你》什么的，觉得无新意，正在做难，看了</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">“</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">颠覆生活</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">先生的评论：</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">“</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">心理美容、意念美容，下一步是<span lang="EN-US">...</span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">，顿时心里有了题目。感谢</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">“</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">颠覆</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">先生抛砖提示，引出来是石头也好，是玉也罢！于是名字出来了，姑且叫作《幽默美容》，还算沾边，恰好凑成个美容三部曲！</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">
                        　</span><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;"></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">
                </span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;"></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">幽默是生活中不可缺少的成分，能让人开心快乐，身心健康。幽默不失为一种美容良方。俗话说得好：</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">“</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">笑一笑十年少</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">，</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">“</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">时常微笑年轻美貌</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">　</span><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;"></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">昨天在爸家吃中饭，正吃着，好像有敲门声，开门一看楼下一位邻居拎着一袋鸡蛋，站在门外，要进门的意思，热情地让进来。心想邻居还真客气，知道该过双节了，赶趟送些鸡蛋过来<span lang="EN-US">...再一寻思不对呵，普通邻居，没有什么来往啊！这时听道：</span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">“</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">借你家电话一用<span lang="EN-US">...</span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">，还好我还没来得及把鸡蛋接过来。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">　</span><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;"></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">
                </span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">和单位里的人事处长住过对门，且我俩的名字像兄妹。有天晚饭后，正看新闻联播，有人敲门问道：是<span lang="EN-US">N老师家吗？开门没等我反应过来，一女子抱着一大堆的东西冲进来，放下东西，拉着我进旁边屋子，悄悄地对我说：</span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">“</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">N老师，我哥</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">——</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">你知道我哥<span lang="EN-US">***吧，他让你费心多多关照我。</span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">我恍然大迷瞪的明白过劲儿来，对她说：</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">“</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">你走错门了，应该是对面<span lang="EN-US">...</span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">顿时，她：</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">“</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">啊？<span lang="EN-US">...不好意思。</span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">，掉头出去，我极不情愿地帮她把东西运送出去<span lang="EN-US">...</span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">　</span><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #660099; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;"></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;"> 同事和人争执，急了张口来了句：</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">“</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">你以为我吃饭长大的啊？</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">我一直纳闷他到底吃什么长大的。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">　</span><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;"></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;"> 一次问一个朋友眼睛近视多少度，他本想说500度的，结果一出口就成了500瓦...</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">　</span><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;"></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;"> 有次去吃饭，结帐时对着老板说：</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">“</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">老公，买单！</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">当时老板娘就在旁边对我直瞪眼<span lang="EN-US">......</span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">　</span><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #660099; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;"></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;"> 一群朋友去郊区朋友家玩，买了几个西瓜放在厨房。叫一个朋友去切瓜，好久不见回来，正疑惑时，他手里捧着个切开的瓜来了，惊慌地说：</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">“</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">我把南瓜给切了。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">大家狂笑，但两秒钟后，大家更是笑翻，原来他手里捧着个冬瓜！</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">　</span><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;"></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">一哥们出差，钱用完了就到银行取钱，为哥们服务的是位四十多岁的女士，哥们用刚训练两星期的普通话亲切地喊：</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">“</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">大姐，我取钱</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">，哪想女工作人员闻声脸色变，混身发抖，哥们在想，不至于吧，喊声大姐就激动成这样，莫非我长得太帅？！于是呼更加大声地喊道：</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">“</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">大姐，我取钱</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">。忽然脑袋翁的一声，哥们被银行保安一棍子打倒在地上。等哥们醒来说<span lang="EN-US">:</span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">“</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">为什么打我<span lang="EN-US">?</span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">赶来的警察说：</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">“</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">光天化日下敢抢银行。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">哥们说：</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">“</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">我抢什么银行啊<span lang="EN-US">!</span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">”“</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">我取钱。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">银行女职员说：</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">“</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">看，刚才他就是隔着玻璃大喊</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">‘</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">打劫，我缺钱</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">’</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">，不是抢银行，难道是存款啊？</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">”</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">...现如今，这哥们每天都要提醒大家：</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">“</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">说好普通话，这样才安全！</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;">”</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">　</span><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: #333333; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">
</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #660099; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 楷体_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 楷体_GB2312;"></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #660099; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">
                </span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>平淡生活中的几段小幽默，就当作开心处方吧！祝大家身体健康，生活愉快！</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: fuchsia; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;">　</span>

㊣㊣㊣㊣. ..

落落野花

　哈哈
　其实生活中幽默无处不在吧~[em01][em01]

┶┶┶┶. ..

耘平仄

哈哈　　　　搞笑哦

⊥⊥⊥⊥. ..

叶落凡尘

嘿嘿~还好没有把我笑傻,还能跟帖~

ぷぷ